Want to rais successful children? Then this video is a must watch for you. Julie Lythcott-Haims presented a fascinating Ted Talk about how to raise successful kids without overparenting. It is an eye-opener and deserved the standing ovation and over 2million views. Julie says “There is a certain style of parenting these days that is impeding their chance of developing into their real selves”. After watching this inspiring video I have taken 10 main points to helpy you raise successful children.
Here Are 10 Tips To Help You Raise Successful Children.
1.Don’t Overprotect Your Children.
Many Parents believe that protecting their little ones is the best way to parent. Overprotecting your children will lead them to have a sheltered life. Your children need to learn about the World for themselves. Sometimes the lessons life teaches them will hurt but learning from experience will help your child to grow.
2.Don’t Micromanage Your Children
Micromanaging your children and hovering over them at every turn will not help your children to be successful. Leading them in a direction that you want as opposed to where they want to go detrimental to your child’s personal development.
3.You Don’t Need A Brand Name School To Be Happy And Successful Children
Many parents want their children to attend a small subset of colleges and careers that are almost unattainable. They have to go to the right school, get the right grades and win the right awards for you to see them as a success. Aiming for such a small, selective and often unrealistic school or career can pressure your child into depression.
4.Avoid Making Your Child’s Life Checklisted
It is normal for you to want your child to be safe, sound, fed, and going to the right classes. After that, you should avoid creating a checklist of the success milestones that you have set. If you want your child to be happy then they have to discover their own path.
5.Perfection Is Impossible.
You were never expected to perform to a level of perfection so why should your children. Perfection is impossible and expecting it from your child will lead to unhealthy levels of pressure. Don’t expect your children to get perfect results and gain entry to a small handful of colleges that deny almost everyone.
4.Give Your Children Time For Free Play
An overprotected child that has no time for free play will not be happy. Children need time to play alone as they feel free. Every moment is not a make or break moment in their future. Let them fall, make mistakes and get back up
5.Results In School Will Not Make Your Child Successful.
Do not put all of your focus on your child’s results in school. Life is more than just results.These days kids do not ask themselves “what do I want to do?” They go to counsellors to find out what they need to do to get into the right college. Results alone will not make your child happier or successful. Putting too much pressure will lead to burn out.
6.Overparenting Leads To Lack Of Self-efficacy
Self-efficacy is one of the fundamental tenets of the human psyche. Self-efficacy is built when one sees that one’s actions lead to outcomes. It is not about when a child’s parents actions lead to outcomes. Self-efficacy is far more important than self-esteem when it comes to your child’s success
7.Don’t Create A Narrow Window of Success for Your Child
We should not pigeonhole our children into a small window of what we consider success. Our children need to build there own success and find their own path with our gentle guidance.
8.Success Is Built On Love And Chores
The longest ever longitudinal study on humans ever conducted is called the Harvard Grant Study. The study says that the professional success in life comes from having done chores as a kid. The earlier that kids start with chores, the better their attitude towards hard work. Children that learn to do chores will have a mindset that says “I need to pitch in and do the hard work for the common good”. Chores teach your child to roll up their sleeves and be useful for their future colleagues.
9.Happiness In Life Comes From Love And Not Love Of Work
A second part of the Harvard study said that happiness in life comes from love. This is from the love of humans and not the love of work. This means love of our friends, family or partners. We need to teach our children how to love. They will not be able to love others if they cannot love themselves. Our children will not love themselves unless shown unconditional love from their parents.
10.Close Your Technology And Ask Your Child How Their Day Was?
In this day and age, we are always connected to our phones, TV, watches and other smart devices. You need to shut all of these down and look your child in the eye and ask them how their day was. We should not instantly ask them how the performed today but ask them what they enjoyed. We just need to be there and listen to what they liked or didn’t like without passing judgement
It is our job to guide and not pressure our children. We want them to be happy and learn for themselves what they want in life. They will live more successful lives if we do not wrap them in cotton wool and let them learn from their mistakes. We need to support them on their path to success with love and chores and then they can become their glorious unique self.