This week is National Infertility Awareness Week and I am publishing a series of short posts about Infertility. For those of you that are suffering with disease of infertility, I wish I could give you all a big hug and tell you that everything it will be okay. Unfortunately, I can’t hug you all nor do I know if everything will be okay.
We were one of the lucky couples that now have a family but there was a time when it seemed like an impossible dream. It was not until I was diagnosed as infertile that I realised how much I wanted a family. The three years after the diagnosis were the worst of my life. Looking back, I now see them as formative years that are part of my life journey.
You can chose to deal with infertility in two ways. The first is to fall into a depression and let it ruin your life. The second is to embrace infertility head on and work harder than you have ever worked to have a family. The second option takes a lot more proactive effort but is much less emotionally draining.
When we were going through IVF treatment I accepted my faith and that I may not have a family. I planned for the worst case scenario – not having my own kids and adopting. This outlook was hard to do adopt but it made things easier. Having a worst case scenario meant that I was mentally prepared for any challenge that life would throw at me.
I chose to accept Infertility as the biggest challenge that I would ever face. Each painful experience was a chance for me to learn and get better. There were so many life lessons that I learned that have made me a better man and father. I would not be the father I am today had I not been through infertility and IVF treatment
Our experience with infertility was harrowing but our relationship is stronger as a result. If a relationship can withstand infertility treatment it can withstand anything. When you go through IVF you have to change so many things about your lifer. You need to become physically fitter, better nourished and better at managing stress. As result of infertility you become emotionally, physically and mentally tougher.
The lessons that you learn from infertility are transferable to other areas of your life. I now see my infertility as a blessing. I would not have chosen infertility but it makes me appreciate what I now have. Not a day goes by without me remembering how hard my life was without kids. This gratitude for life is a result of how hard I worked to get here. Years of hard works and making big changes to my life mean I can now enjoy the fruits of my labour.