It took me two failed IVF treatment to realise that I needed to go to every appointment. For our first two treatments, I only went to the appointments that I “needed” to be at. It was not until our third round of IVF treatment that I went to every appointment.
In my mind, I did not need to go to every appointment. Olivia could go to the appointments, and tell me everything that the fertility doctors had said. I was more worried about my career than my future family. I had just started a new job and I felt guilty missing work.
By not attending all the appointments, I left Olivia feeling isolated and alone. If I could turn back time, I would have gone to every appointment for our first two rounds of IVF Treatment. When the second round of IVF treatment failed, I knew that something needed to change.
Not only did I change my physical and mental well being but I decided to work harder on my relationship. It took two failed IVF treatments to realise the error of my ways and show up for my wife.
5 Reasons You Should Go To Every Appointment
1Going Alone Leaves You Feeling Isolated
When you go through IVF treatment, there are so many appointments and consultations that you need to attend. Going to a fertility centre is a scary experience, especially if you have been trough failed IVF treatment.
For our first two treatments, I went to the initial consultation and to the other “important” appointments. In between, there were other check ups, consultations and meetings that I attended but only if it suited my schedule.
This meant that Olivia went to many appointments alone. Little did I know, by letting her go alone, I was leaving her feeling isolated. She felt like she was going through the treatment alone. Looking back, I feel guilty leaving her alone during the hardest time of her life.
I was the one that was infertile but she was the one that suffered. As I write this, I feel tremendous guilt for making her go to so many appointments without me.
2Understanding The Process
When you go to each appointment you learn more about the IVF process. If you are like me then you will go into your first treatment with blind optimism. Attending each appointment helps you to understand the process and how it works.
One of the keys to getting through IVF treatment is understanding every step of the treatment. If you are not at every appointment then you do no really know the treatment.
Having knowledge of the procedure will help you to understand why IVF fails. If you go to every appointment together and read as much as you can about the subject, then you will be able to make better decisions about the next round of IVF.
3You Are In This Together
Infertility is something that affects you both. At no stage, should either of you think that you are alone. It is important to have solidarity in your struggle to help you through. Many men are like me and leave everything up to their wife.
This is a mistake. Getting through IVF treatment takes a lot of hard work, hard conversations and above all team work. You are in this together and things are a lot easier when you work together as a team.
4It’s Easier To Receive Bad News Together
During IVF treatment, it seems like you receive one piece of bad news after another. Some people are luckier an than we were and everything works out the first time. The infertility diagnosis was our first bit of bad news. After the initial diagnosis, the next two years were followed by a series of complications and failures.
We had two years of disappointment and heart break. I cannot count how many times Olivia had to receive bad news on her own. I was not there to support her when the going got tough.
She called me so many times crying when she went to appointments on her own. It would have been so much easier for her had I just been there for her.
5It Strengthens Your Relationship
I learned from our two failed IVF treatments to attend every appointment. Being together for every appointment made Olivia’s live easier and it strengthened our relationship. I feel that one of the reasons our last IVF was successful was that it was less stressful for Olivia.
Having me at her side gave her strength. Being brave together gave us both confidence that the next round of IVF treatment would work. Anything that you can do to reduce stress during IVF increases your chances of the treatment being a success.
Final Thoughts On Going To Every Appointment.
Our third and final round was successful. The lessons that we learned from two failed treatments helped the third round to be a success. Working together as couple brought us our twins and it definitely made our relationship stronger. After what we have been through it feels like nothing can break us. We have been through hell and back and our marriage has be strengthened by our toughest test.
If you are currently going through IVF treatment then you need to go to every appointment. It makes things easier for both of you. Showing support for your wife and working together as a team reduces the stress of IVF treatment. Less stress will increases the chances of the treatment being successful.
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