Being a parent is the most important thing that you will ever do. It is also the hardest thing that you will ever do as there is so much expected from you on many levels. Babies put a lot of pressure on your relationship and you can never switch off. To make life easier you need a partner to help you when things get tough. To make sure you have a strong relationship you need to work hard on babyproofing your marriage.
Here is a list of ways to babyproof your marriage:
1.Don’t bicker over small things
When you have a baby it is normal to have disagreements. Your life has been turned upside down and your rhythm is out of sync with sleep deprivation. You will often find yourself bickering over small things which do not really matter. Take a step back and look at the situation. If the disagreement is pointless then stop and make up.
2.Resolve issues quickly.
If you do bicker and argue then you should solve issues as quickly as possible. Do not let things turn into something bigger that will cause you more stress. You have enough pressure in your life with a baby so fights with your spouse should be resolved as quickly as possible.
3.Don’t hold grudges
After an argument, it can be difficult to let go despite having resolved the issue. This unhealthy for your family. Holding a grudge will cause you more harm than good.
4.Don’t keep score
Keeping score is very unhealthy for you and your family. It can be tempting to keep track of all the things that you have done but avoid this at all costs. Keeping score means that you are on different teams and playing against each other. You are on the same team and you need to communicate if you need help.
Humans are social creatures and conversation is key to baby proofing your marriage. If you are having any problems, fears or doubts then discuss them without the fear of judgement. Talking openly is the best way to resolve any issues you are having.
6.Admit when you are wrong.
This can be hard for both men and women. It takes a lot of courage and bravery to admit that something was your fault. To baby proof your marriage you have to admit you were wrong. This will help you to resolve issues quicker.
7.Don’t compare your life to anyone else
Social media has a negative impact on many relationships. People compare a small window of peoples lives that they see on social media and get a false impression of how they live. Social media envy is a real thing and comparing yourself to other families is not a realistic way of rating your life. Compare yourself to yourself yesterday or last year. You have control over your own life and if you are improving as a spouse and parent then you are doing a good job.
8.Make time for dates
Really making time for your marriage is one of the hardest parts of babyproofing your marriage. Your days are consumed by your new family and you feel that you have no time. You need to make time, at least once per month, for date night. You will be surprised how much spark a date will put back into your relationship.
Parenting and marriage do not have to be dull. Make it fun. Ensure that every day you do something fun with your spouse and children. Play games, sing songs or watch a nice movie together. Spending time having fun with your babies is one of the best ways to babyproof your marriage.
10.Do things as a family
At least once per week, go out and do something together. Cherish the time that you get to spend together as a family. Every Sunday, do something nice like go for a walk, go to the Zoo or enjoy a nice meal together. Turn off your smartphone and be 100% present with your loved ones.
Keep a gratitude journal and write down the things that you are grateful for. At the top of that list should be your family. Really take time to think about them and how lucky you are to have them. Do this every morning when you wake up every morning when you go to bed. This will help you to realise just how lucky you are.
12.Get enough sleep
Sleep deprivation is a big issue for all parents. To really combat this you have to force yourself to get to bed earlier and nap whenever you can. There are times when this is impossible but trying to sleep as well as possible will help you to babyproof your marriage. When you are well rested you are less likely to fight and you can make better decisions.
13.Put things in perspective
Your children will not be babies forever. This is just a short phase in your life that you will have to learn how to manage. Enjoy the time, however stressful it is. You will look back on it in the future as the most beautiful time of your life.
14.You are not alone
Despite sometimes feeling alone you are not alone. You are in this together as a team. For your family to be happy you need to ask for help when you need it. It is okay to rely on your partner for support.
15.Realise that men and women are different
It can be hard for men and women to be objective and realise how different we are. Sometimes we try to understand why our partner is acting in a different way and we can’t figure it out. Don’t try to understand it, just accept it as it is.
16.Keep a journal
We are all imperfect in our own way and that is what makes us all unique. Sometimes our actions or behaviour can upset our spouse and we need to take note of this. Realising that our actions upset another person and doing something about it shows that you love and respect your partner. If your spouse says that you doing something bad then write it down and take time to work on it. Doing this will help you to understand what upsets your spouse and will help you to change your behaviour. Such foresight and compromise will stop fights before they even start.
17.Don’t forget to laugh
Laughing is an important part of life. Make sure that you laugh and joke with your wife and your kids. Laughing is good for your soul and sharing funny moments together is a great way to baby proof your marriage.
18.Turn off your phone
When you are spending quality time with each other you need to do it without the constant interruption of your smartphone. When you go out for dinner or are spending any quality time together then do it without the intrusive notifications of your phone. This will help you to be present and live in the moment.
19.Give each other breaks
Being a parent is tough work and you need to spend some time away from your family. Men need male bonding and women need a girls night out to relieve the stress. Make sure that you make time for yourself away from your family.
After you have a baby, sex is often the furthest thing from your mind. You are stressed, sleep deprived and under pressure. Not the ideal conditions for passion. Making time for intimacy is one of the greatest ways to bond with the love of your life. Regular sex will help you to baby proof your marriage.
A summary of babyproofing your marriage
To baby proof your marriage you need to be more understanding, have more fun and communicate better. Sounds easy, right? Well, it’s not. It is really hard. Why do you think the rate of divorce is so high? The reason marriages crumble under the pressure is that people do not work hard enough on it. A great marriage/relationship does not just happen, it takes hard work. Consistent hard work over a very long period of time.
What do you do to baby proof your marriage? I would love to hear from you in the comments below.