How can Women Can Support Men Through IVF? When we think about IVF, we automatically think about how it affects the woman in the relationship. Just because men do not have to go through injections, hormones, and transfers, does not mean that the treatment does not impact us. IVF treatment often leaves men feeling alone and helpless. It is just as important for wives to support their husbands, as it is for husbands to support their wives during IVF treatment.
Women deal with their emotions much better than men do. They talk openly about their problems with their friends, colleagues and family. Men, on the other hand, usually bottle up their emotions and struggle to talk about their feelings. This is especially true when the matters is as private and embarrassing as infertility.
When it comes to infertility, our feelings and emotions often get overlooked. We feel that we should focus on being strong and our wives- we need to be their rock and shoulder to cry on. This emotional baggage can become overbearing. As hard as it is, it is important for women to focus on their partner during the infertility journey.
5 Ways Women Can Support Men Through IVF
1.Do Something That He Loves Everyday
This is such a simple idea that can do wonders for your relationship during IVF treatment. Does he love coffee? Make hime a coffee every morning. Does he love when you rub his back? Take 5 minutes every evening to rub his back. Does he love it when you cook his favourite meal? They say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. When you are going through what could be the hardest time of your life, doing something small every day does wonders for your relationship.
2.Take Time Away Together
For our final round of IVF, we took a trip before and trip after the treatment. The first was a week in Spain. The second, during the dreaded two week wait, was a weekend away to the lake district near Berlin. We decided that during these breaks we would only focus on being positive and the treatment being a success. This time away strengthened our bond and helped us to destress before and after IVF treatment.
3.Do Things That You Love Together Every week
Every couple has something that they love to do together. For some couples it is the cinema, for others it is sports, for us it was going out for dinner. During IVF treatment, we went on a date once per week to a new restaurant. When we sat down to eat we decided not to talk about IVF treatment. These small breaks worked wonders for our mental health and relationship.
4.Talk To Someone Together
After our first two failed rounds of IVF treatment, we decided to go an see a fertility counsellor. It is expensive, but I would definitely recommend it. Seeing a counsellor is not for everyone, you have to be open to talking about your most intimate problems. Be open minded to trying it together as a team. The worst thing that can happen is you try it once and don’t go back.
5.Give Him Space
Men need space. That is either time for themselves or with other men. Encourage him to take time everyday to do something for himself and once a week with his friends. My wife gave me time to go to the gym every day and meet up with the guys on the weekends. This should be time that is used positively, like playing sports or doing something healthy and not just drinking.
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