It is easy for me to write this post having been through IVF, premature twins and now having two healthy babies. I would not wish what we went through on my worst enemy. It nearly broke us and I’m glad that the fertility chapter of my life is now closed.

Before we went through our first of three treatments we had no idea what to expect. To say that we were naive is an understatement. There were so many lessons that we learned on the way that I wish I known before we started.

Here are the 5 things that I wish I knew before starting fertility treatment.

  1. It’s okay to change clinics

When I received the infertility diagnosis, it was a shock to the system. I never thought that it could be my fault that we could not have children. Infertility is a woman’s problem, or so I thought. In reality, the statistics show that fertility is 50/50 men and women.

I got the initial diagnosis in one clinic and  it was delivered heartlessly. The doctor said that I have a better chance of winning the lottery than having children naturally. The rude doctor helped us to decide that this clinic was not for us

We changed clinic and location was one of the deciding factors. Using location to chose a clinic was a bad idea.

The clinic had decent reviews online but it ended up being a bad choice. The clinic was so busy and their was little emphasis on caring for the patients. It felt like conveyor belt for couples dreaming of having a family. It was a big business and we were just another number for them.

The fertility centre was cold and sterile and we had two horrific failed treatments there. After the second failed treatment we were emotionally drained and decided to change clinic. It was one of the best decisions that we made on our journey.

Everything about the experience for the third and successful IVF treatment was perfect. We made lots of changes to our life and changing clinic was the reason that we have our two beautiful babies.

2.Not Every Fertility Doctor Is Created Equally

We ended up changing clinic based on a doctor that was recommended to us. It turns out she worked at the same clinic where I got the initial infertility diagnosis. It took two filed tries and many different fertility doctors for us to find the right doctor for us.

In the clinic where we had the failed treatments we found it very difficult as we were constantly seen by different doctors. This was really hard on us both. You are trusting your fertility doctor to give you a family and it is important that you have a rapport with them.

Our fertility doctor for our successful treatment had everything. She was personable, professional and caring. She found flaws in the failed treatments that we had been through. Not only did she find problems with the first two treatments but she made major adjustments.

It was because of her foresight and attention to detail that our last final treatment was a success. If you are going through IVF treatment then make sure you find the best doctor that you can find. Do not settle for the first doctor that you find.

3.You Can Influence The Quality Of Your Sperm

From the man’s point of view, there are many changes that you can make to improve the quality of your sperm. It will take a lot of work but changing your diet, exercising more and getting enough sleep will help you greatly. You can read more about the changes that I made to improve my sperm quality here.

4.Patience Is A Virtue

I’m a very patient person but I was really tested when we went through IVF treatment. It was almost three years that from receiving the bad news until we had our twins. In the first clinic the doctor said something that stuck with me all the way through our treatment. ” The biggest barrier to successful IVF treatment is couples giving up after two or three tries”.

” The biggest barrier to successful IVF treatment is couples giving up after two or three tries”.

Fertility treatment is a process of trial and error. Each individual and fertility issue are different. If the first try does not work then the doctors will make changes to the treatment until it works.

When you are going through IVF treatment then you need to be patient and realise that it takes time to have a family. A valuable lesson that I learned is not to give up. I was very close to stopping treatment after the second failed attempt. The stress had become too much and I wanted my old life back. Thankfully, we stuck with it and now we are blessed with a family.

5.Fertility Treatment Teaches You Valuable Life Lessons

When you are in the thick of it, it is hard to see things rationally. My mindset during IVF treatment time was that I am learning life lessons that will make me stronger. It is not until you really struggle that you learn who you are.

I learned more about myself during the years of infertility treatment than I did in my previous 33 combined. Looking at the treatment or any struggle in life as lessons is great way of moving forward.

Embracing the hardship as lessons will help you through the difficult times. Even now, two years later, I look back on how hard my life was back then. It puts things in perspective and helps me to appreciate what I have today.


If you are going through IVF treatment then you need to be ready for a fight. Be prepared to make major changes to your life for the treatment to be a success. On top of being prepared you need to stay patient, work hard and realise that your are learning lots of valuable life lessons. While none of this will guarantee successful IVF treatment it will help you get through the process. Good luck!

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