This is the final post in the what I changed for successful IVF. After two failed IVF treatments I knew that a lot needed to change. Unlike our doctor at the first clinic, I delved deep into everything that went wrong both internally and externally with our failed treatments. Physically and emotionally, I made a lot of changes, but one of the biggest changes was being there for Olivia for every appointment. During our first treatment, I was working long hours and I did not give the treatment my full attention.
The mistakes that I made were obvious, but I did not see them. Instead of attending every doctor’s appointment, I worked, leaving Olivia to attend the fertility clinic on her own. In hindsight, this added pressure to her as she felt alone. Work had taken priority over creating a family and this was the wrong choice of action. The stress was high enough on Olivia, both physically and emotionally and I was not there to support her. My attendance at the clinic was not always mandatory as Olivia was usually the one being checked up. In my silly little head, I thought that if I am not needed there in person then why should I go?
If the doctor is not checking me, then why should I be at the appointment? The answer is for emotional support. IVF is one of the hardest things in the World and my wife needed me more than ever. It wasn’t until our first two tries failed that I realised this. For our third try, the treatment took precedence and I attended every appointment without fail. Work played second fiddle to the IVF treatment and I was there for Olivia 100% of the time. Come hell or high water, I was not missing a single part of our final IVF treatment. It became my sole focus, and this attitude change made Olivia’s life easier and it contributed to our successful IVF treatment.
If you are going through IVF then the treatment must become your number one focus. Looking back, I should have told work what I was going through so they would be understanding of my situation. Instead, I lied about multiple dentist and doctors appointments when I was actually going to the fertility clinic. I cannot stress enough the importance of going to every single appointment together, united as a couple, even if you physically do not need to be there. This will reduce the stress on your relationship and help you get through IVF together.
Are you going through IVF? Are you sticking together as a couple? I would love to hear your comments below.